I haven't been in an updating mood for a while now, but since I feel guilty about it, here's a summary of the past month:

* I'm going back to LA in March to work at the Westec exhibition! I was afraid they wouldn't let me go, but I asked anyway and the answer was yes. So hey, California weather, here I come!
* My project 365 was one big dud. The first two weeks were okay, but then my ever so dull life caught up with me and I just didn't know what to photograph anymore. Pity.
* I am getting more lonely and bored and disappointed and desperate by the minute. What a catch.
* We did have a bowling night with work this week. It was nice.
* I wanna go out and party. I wanna dance all night. I wanna have fun. I wanna feel great. I'm even starting to think that if I have to drink to get that way, I will. Which scares me, because it is exactly what I never wanted.
* I had a crush, someone who gave me hope again, someone who made me think that maybe, just maybe, things could change. Then I saw it all go up in smoke.
* I need some new music. I am so so so sick of everything.
* Bloc Party and Rise Against in 2 weeks. Yay.
* I need to stay away from the Groezrock website. The more I see it, the more I want to go. Unless third time really is the charm, I can't get my hopes up.

Okay that was a really depressing post. Which is exactly why I haven't been posting a lot lately. I hate people who always whine. They should just focus on the solution instead of the problems. I know there's always some good shining through. I have no reason to whine, because I'm lucky enough to have a great job, a great best friend and family. So I feel guilty for feeling that it's not enough anymore. I wanna feel loved. I wanna know that people care about me. I wanna have a lot of friends. I want a boyfriend. I wanna be able to go out and talk to people without feeling like it's the end of the world every damn time. I just hate that I've been feeling so incredibly shitty and noone even seems to notice. Crying at the most random times. Nightmares. I'm slipping away and nobody cares anymore. Because they all have their own problems to worry about. Yeah yeah blah blah enough whining now.

But hey, to end up on a positive note atleast, I got a compliment on my progress at work this week. It was from the same guy who told me I could work faster a few months ago though, so I'm not sure if I can trust his judgement.

Ok, let's try again. I got on the train really late, but i'm finally watching all my Sex and the City dvd's. I'm at season 3 right now and I love it.

Oh oh oh and the first names for Werchter have been announced: Coldplay, Placebo, Metallica and The Killers. I wanna go, I wanna go, I wanna go...

2008

For the past two years I wrote a small overview of the year for myself. These are the words that completely sum up 2008 for me.

The year I saw a bit of the world and yet stayed exactly where I was. Rome. Reading frenzy. When I Grow Up. Dancing. Back to red. Gossip Girl. Djerba. Facebook. Overtime troubles. Summer of disappointment. Loneliness. True Blood. Crisis. Heroes. Los Angeles. Paramore. Love for teen movies. Perfect weight achieved and lost. Editors love growing. Simple Plan. Supernatural. Twilight. Harry Potter drama. Plain White T’s. ADIML. Nightwish. You know that I could use somebody. Narnia. House. 21. Grand Opening. Other lifes giving hope. New directors. New challenges. Desperation. Change we can believe in. Preparing for a start. Eragon love. Veronica Mars. Sticking to the status quo perfected. Hiding out. Short highs, long lows. Nicholas Sparks revisited. New Canon. AB love. Festival lows. Avoidance and hiding out. I’m a as-I’ve-always-been right behind what’s happening.

Indeed, nothing much. That’s actually also an ok description for the past year: nothing much. There were some highlights, like the travels I finally did this year that I have been wanting to do for years. I saw Rome, the city I’ve been in love with for years, and I got out of Europe for the first time and went to Los Angeles. I saw Paramore, The Plain White T’s, Nightwish and Simple Plan live. I started reading again. Basically, I started the year filled with excitement and energy, but around July I had some major personal drawbacks and then by the end it started getting better again. But, other then my travels and some small personal highlights, nothing major happened this year. I stayed exactly where I was.

On one hand, I don’t really believe in resolutions, because it’s not because it is a new year that things will change. But I can’t stay the same either. I hope 2009 will be a busy year, a moving year, a year of change and I can only hope it will be for the best.

So to break it down:

Top moments of 2008:
1. Rome
2. Los Angeles
3. Paramore live
4. Dancing
5. Reading again

Top new cd’s:
In no order: Appeal To Reason (Rise Against), Folie à Deux (Fall Out Boy), Fast Times at Barrington High (The Academy Is…), Only By The Night (Kings of Leon), Howl (Empires)

Top new musical discoveries:
You Me At Six, The Ting Tings, Hey Monday, Kids In Glass Houses, Empires Kings of Leon, Jimmy Eat World, (yeah these two are totally not new, but I’m new to them)

Top TV series:
1. House MD
2. Gossip Girl
3. Heroes
4. Supernatural
5. True Blood

Things I want to do in 2009:
1. Go to the gym at least two times a week
2. Do a project 365
3. Get better in photography
4. Get better in photoshop
5. Learn German
6. Keep on reading
7. Get more informed on politics
8. Find and start renting an appartment of my own
9. Get out more and make some new friends
10. Go to Werchter
11. Go to Pukkelpop
12. Revive old friendships and keep present ones safe
13. Don’t forget the importance of family
14. See at least one new city outside of Belgium
15. Maybe find a new boyfriend :)

Nothing much new but was bored so...

Been watching way too much tv lately. Well not so much tv because my tv is kinda not working, but tv series. Loved the True Blood finale. I'll miss Lafayette though. Gossip Girl is still amazing. The next episode will probably kill me, but I have no doubt that Ed Westwick will be amazing in it. Also not loving the Nate/Vanessa. I'm probably minority, but I liked Nate/Jenny. Heroes kinda threw me off. Plotholes and ping-pong writing aside, I'm not sure how I feel about my favourite character killing off my other favourite character. There are enough annoying characters, can't he kill them off? Also started Smallville season 1. I kinda like it. We'll see.

I finished Brisingr. Now I can't wait for the next one. Please write quickly...

I saw Twilight. Incredibly cheesy and awkward, but I guess that's how it has to be. It's funny, the story never struck me as such until I saw it acted out. Oh well, I still like cheesy. And Jacob. I love Jacob.

I've got Fall Out Boy tickets! Yay!

Also, I got the Paramore final riot dvd and I loved their small cover of Hallelujah. Man I love that song.

I'm looking really forward to spending the holidays at home.

I'm feeling a little lonely. Must be the time of the year.

"The average person has no idea how debilitating this condition can be. Somehow, we’ve all been taught that shyness is minor and something anyone can get over. It’s dismissed as an annoying negative trait and nothing more. There is no sympathy for someone that can’t get over their shyness problem – they’re simply not trying hard enough.

So here’s where the double whammy comes into effect. Not only does social anxiety suck all the fun out of life, but we’re also criticized by the rest of society for being lazy and complacent. "

I found this blog online and it hit home. I hate saying this because it's sounds unbelievably whiny, but no one does understand. Even my friends keep telling me things like "you just have to get out more", "you just have to talk more" and so on. Like it's just that easy. Like I'm just a little shy and with a little pushing I'll open up. I tell them I'm uncomfortable around people, and they push me to talk to someone. They've known me for years and still don't get that putting me on the spot and making me the center of attention will only make me freeze and get out as soon as I can.

So last Monday I went to a Simple Plan concert. Which was fun.

( Leave the past in the past, gonna find the future )

Rough week. Busy days, late nights spent working, but the Grand Opening is finally over. It's funny, the adrenaline made me feel all extremes this week. But the exhilaration, energy and utter happiness do make up for the end-of-the-week crash.

I felt like I conquered all my social retardedness for two whole days before it all came rushing back at me. I'm so jealous of certain people for being so social. They make it seem so easy. 5 years...

Anyway... Simple Plan tomorrow! And I got my Bloc Party tickets, yay. Now I'm just waiting for my Rise Against tickets and February will be an amazing month.

Paramore video for Decode will be out tomorrow, yay.

I started Brisingr. Damnit, the books really got me. I'm reading every single spare minute I have. I have even abandoned my House dvds for these books right now. And that's saying something.

US elections are here... I'm curious and hopeful yet a bit afraid... we'll see.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince international trailer

So excited about this trailer. So excited about the movie. So much more mad about the late release!

Extra burrow scene doesn't even bother me, since it means we'll get more Weasleys. Cave scene looks great and Lavender and Won-Won will surely crack me up. Oh and quidditch! We will finally get back some quidditch, yay!

Also, I'm never spending money on the T M F awards ever again. I did it to see Fall Out Boy and due to stupid reasons I didn't even see them. (we had to leave 20 minutes before the end because we had to catch our last train home - and OFCOURSE FOB plays last) Major bummer.

Other than that: Halloween soon!

LA post has been overdue for too long now. As usual, I am too lazy to actually write a coherent and detailed story of the trip and just list some highs and lows, pros and cons, relevant and irrelevant stuff...

* The plane ride. I am ashamed to admit I am absolutely terrified of being in a plane. Even after 6 plane rides this year, I'm still not used to it and I doubt I ever will. I swear I clutch my seat in terror every time the plane has a little turbulence. But I survived the 10-hour plane ride twice, so for that I am happy. I am also happy that there was on-flight entertainment in the form of movies and shows. I saw The Forbidden Kingdom, Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian, a House episode and some Disney Channel on the ride to LA, and Iron Man, Forgetting Sarah Marshall and a Chuck episode on the ride back. Which took my mind a little of the plane. Also: sleeping on a plane? Yeah, didn't happen for me. Maybe a minute.
* The car. I didn't drive, my friend did, but I was still a little scared of the highways and freeways in LA. Which were as crowded as we were told, but we were actually less afraid of driving on the highways in California than those around here. I was a bit iffy about all the hills and curves in the road though (which I was told by a local was "nothing"). We even saw 2 accidents in the 1 week we were there.
* The food: Man, they give you big portions over there! Also, I fell in love with Subway. I had real American pancakes (which was on the to-do-list) and must say I prefer the European ones. Also the Belgian fries are way better. Oh and Mexican is not my cup of tea. After half an hour of eating, it looked like my plate was still full.
* The people: Met up with some local friends, who were nice. Other than them, all people were really nice. I can't say I met any arrogant jackasses.
* The hotels: I love Crowne Plaza. More specifically, I love their double beds. I want one for my own.
* Ventura: first hotel was there. Didn't see a lot of it, went out for a burger and fries the first evening, but I don't remember the name of the place. Hobbit? Habit? Hobo's? Yeah, never mind. I also dipped my feet in the Pacific Ocean there! (also on the to-do-list) Nothing special, the water was kind of icky. Maybe I should have done it in Santa Barbara or Santa Monica. Oh well, I felt the Pacific Ocean on my feet!
* Oxnard: Yeah, only saw the Headquarters of our company. Which were big. And yet we were out in a little over an hour. People were nice. Cubicles are not.
* Santa Barbara: Is lovely. Saw the Pier and State Street. State Street gave me my first Subway and Borders experience. Oh and this is where I bought the Inheritance series (Eragon, Eldest and Brisingr). Lovely weather. Lay on the beach for a little while. I got more tan in 2 days in the sun in California than during a whole week in the sun in Djerba. Huh.
* Santa Monica: Also lovely. The Pier is amazing. The walkways on the beach are amazing. Watching guys playing volleybal is always nice. And I loved Third Street Promenade. Saw a pair of Converse I really wanted, but didn't buy them because I thought I'd save my money for LA. Stupid, stupid decision. Also, I was surprised by the amount of homeless people. More than in Brussels.
* Universal Studios: Nice. Studio tour and Citywalk are the best parts though. Saw a Hot Topic and bought a Rise Against shirt. Also surprised to see all the Twilight stuff.
* Hollywood Boulevard: A letdown. I imagined it to be something nice and big and amazing. It's just a street with stars on the sidewalk. The shops weren't even nice. I did love Mann's Chines Theatre. I did the cliché thing and put my hand in Marilyn Monroe's imprint. (also on the to-do list) And it actually fit. I have the same hand size as Marilyn Monroe! Ok, that was that.
* Beverly Hills: Went for breakfast at "Le Pain Quotidien". Nice. Rodeo Drive is also nice. But I saw Via Condotti in Rome and liked that one more actually. I guess once you've seen on Prada store, you've seen them all.
* Camarillo: Did the Camarillo Outlets. Which is an amazing concept actually. Didn't find anything I liked though, which kinda bummed me out. I only overdosed on Subway.
* Venice Beach: We did this the morning of our departure, because I really wanted to see it. And I'm happy I saw it, because it's really beautiful with all the murals and paintings and artists on the streets. But it was also a bit freaky. On our walk, we saw a guy with blood all over his face mumbling weird stuff to himself, a guy singing "Jingle bells, jingle bells, help me get drunk" for money and a guy playing basketball by himself and swearing and cursing so loud you could hear him from a mile away. I didn't know if I wanted to laugh or just get out of there as quickly as possible.

So yeah, that's it. Pictures are here.

It's almost been a month since my last post so I wanted to make a quick update:

LA trip was great. Loved Santa Barbara, Santa Monica and Universal Studios. The city of LA itself rather dissapointing. More info and pics soon.

On that note, I won't be taking a holiday in any period that isn't July-August or Christmas any time soon. Catching up on work missed is crazy.

Got tickets for Bloc Party and Rise Against in February next year! Yay for that.

Talking about Rise Against - I love the new song!

New FOB took some time, but I like it.

My fave shows are back! The new seasons of Heroes and Supernatural are amazing so far. I also love the new Gossip Girl, even though I don't like the new Serena. And I've gotten addicted to True Blood, though the accents sometimes do drive me crazy. Oh, and still loving the House as well.

Started reading the Eragon books. I'm only in the first one so far and even though it hasn't 'grabbed' me yet, I like it.

Saw Eagle Eye. Shia Labeauf remains great.

Halloween is almost here! Yay for that.

I'm off to the TMF awards now. I don't really like the show, nor most of the artists, but Fall Out Boy is coming and since they seem to forget Belgium for most tours, I bought the tickets in a moment of weakness. We'll see, I might end up enjoying myself after all.

Yeah... more later.